Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
