yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
