I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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