So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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