whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
