I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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