my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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