i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
