I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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