why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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