we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
