We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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