There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
