Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
