I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
