I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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