i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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