and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
