no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
