I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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