im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
