Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
