I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
