Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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