The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
