so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
