Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
