I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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