New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
