no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
