My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
