Got a toothbrush?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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