ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
