and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
