im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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