8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
