yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
