grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
