btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
