I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
