who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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