Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
