What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
