honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
