1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
