Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
