I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
