Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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