somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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