walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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