it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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