Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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