He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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