At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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